This is in regards to at what point in our lives do we lose the qualities of belief and our sense of wonder from childhood. As usual there isn’t a specific point in time, but as we grow older and have more experiences both good and bad, we start to become more cynical. We used to be able to believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and whatever else was told to us. Perhaps this belief is lessened once we’re told that Santa or whoever isn’t real. This is probably one of our earliest experiences in disappointment and a feeling of being tricked; particularly by the people we are closest to, our parents. We come to learn that this isn’t a good feeling and maybe this is where it starts. Of course all experiences are unique to each child and there could be other situations that provoke this response. At this point we are told that we are now old enough to know ‘the truth’ and that we are too old to be believing in such childish things.
We grow up meeting various people and through that, we begin to see that not everyone is nice, not everyone is truthful. We are teased for believing in certain things which teaches us how to doubt ‘facts’ presented to us. Even throughout primary school I remember that there would be tricks/games we would play on each other. We would say things to one another such as “look up, there’s the word gullible!” Many of us would look up and cause the rest of the children to laugh. Another one was “if you say the word banana really slowly, it sounds like gullible.” Of course many kids would fall for it and look silly. Although these games are seemingly innocent, it probably had a subconscious effect on us where we began to doubt what people said, so not to be laughed at.
When we are young we would be amazed by the smallest of things. Children are a good reminder of keeping that sense of wonder. Being young, we are constantly finding new things and learning about the world. Maybe as we become adults or have become adults for a while, we are so desensitized to a lot of things going on around us because we are so used to it. This could be something as simple as watching a plastic bag floating in the air or to the leaves changing colours in autumn. Of course this also ties in with the type of person we are, characteristically speaking. When we grow up these things are seen as mundane and it takes more and more for us to become in awe. We are also so preoccupied with life that we don’t stop to admire something or just to think about life once in a while. This is why it is important for us to take time out for ourselves, to adjust ourselves before entering the chaos of the world once again.
Sometimes we are lucky enough to encounter someone or a situation that gives us that sense of awe or amazement. This could be through animals or someone’s story about their life. We can see so much through social media that we feel like we’ve seen it all already. For some reason when someone finds an interest in something simple, they are often looked down on or patronized. We will hear words like “aww you’re so cute or you’re so innocent.” This maybe because it’s only a quality linked with children or they’re jealous that they can’t find the same feeling themselves. Either way, if you still have that quality, you’re very lucky, regardless of what people say!
Till our next meeting,
This question is in regards to when in our lives we start to lose the important qualities of being young. It’s almost impossible to pinpoint the exact moment or place where we lose this. It’s through the culmination of time and our experiences that we start to ‘grow up’. The qualities such as: courage, belief, sense of wonder, optimism and many more. These qualities seem to be deemed as childish, naive or silly as we grow and enter the ‘adult world’. As adults ourselves, we think of this ‘adult world’ most would imagine something very grey, somber and responsibility. As children, they would think of it as boring and serious. This was inspired by my friend who was an adventurous teenager but now she was fretting about going on a long haul flight herself. This had me thinking – at what point throughout all these years did she lose her courage? I suppose it was due to her being in her comfort zone for too long and not venturing out of it for too long.
As someone relatively young, I feel like I already have the mind and outlook of an old bitter cynical person. However I know that this shouldn’t be the case. I know that not every twenty something year old would feel this way, but I have seen a lot of people with similar feelings through the wonders of social media. Obviously this didn’t happen overnight but we seem not to notice this change until one day when we randomly experience something that makes us think ‘wow so now I’m actually an adult’. I suppose we don’t notice the change partly because it happens so gradually, as the responsibility piles on throughout our teenage years and into early adulthood. That’s why when we see children or anything that reminds us of youth/our childhood, we become nostalgic back to the days when things were so much simpler, where your biggest worry was whether or not that person at school liked you or that test tomorrow. There’s a connection with being a child, being truly happy and to all these qualities.
As adults, some of us try to go back to those times even for just a few hours through various mediums. This may be because they want that feeling again mostly due to the immense stress of being an adult. But that’s a topic for another time.. The question as to what point also depends on how fast you matured which depends on your childhood and down to the little things such as your place in the family whether it be the eldest sibling, single child etc. Back when we were children, curiosity drove us to discover things, this curiosity overpowered our fear and allowed us to explore. Somewhere along the line, fear or laziness (mostly fear), overpowers us and we make excuses to stay in our comfort zone. This can happen to people as early as their 20’s and we then go on to regret things.
Fear not though! I think that this time is the best time to rediscover that. What with all the technology we have the ability to communicate and find new things. Nowadays you hear stories about (mostly younger) people quitting their jobs in order to travel or pursue their passions. We are in an age where a lot of us have that opportunity and choice to do so; it’s only a matter of taking action. A good film that ties this all together well is The Little Prince. This is an animation/cartoon aimed at younger children but its message is very important and mostly aimed at adults. It discusses different topics but most of all it is a reminder to adults to keep the imagination and the child in us, alive.
Till our next meeting,
Learning a language is something you have to keep at and it is a long-term choice if you are to learn it well and progress. There are many sources of motivation at the same time there can be a lot of de-motivating things and some will depend on your character. It will be easier for example if you are someone who has a passion for languages, if you’re a particularly stubborn or competitive person. There can be a lot of character traits that can be put to good use for learning a language.
The root of your motivation will be why you wanted to study this language in the first place. This could be due to someone else being able to speak it or just wanting to know what certain people are saying. This reason was strong enough to motivate you to decide to start learning a language and sometimes if you go back to this reason it will give you extra encouragement. For me, the decider was because I was frustrated at not being able to understand a few interviews that had no subtitles. However I have always loved languages and been interested in it since I was young but never got round to it.
Depending on your preferred learning method/ learning aid, you could find a friend to learn with; you can encourage and practice with each other. You can also promote some friendly competition and push each other. However try to ensure that you are both serious about it because if one of you drops out, it will likely impact the other negatively. Having a friend lets you have someone who is going through the same thing as you are and may understand some of the things you don’t. You can use visual aids whether that be coloured pens, pictures etc. I assume that there is no deadline in learning this language so you can take your time learning however much you like and making it look all pretty. You can then look back at it with pride and it will also help you understand better if you’re revising. For me, I am fine with a notebook that keeps all lessons together as well as my practice exercises. It will end up being a kind of personalized textbook for you that you will understand the best. Use different sources and change things up to keep you engaged.
You might find it helpful to create a schedule that disciplines yourself or like me, you’re more a go by feelings person. Keeping a schedule has its obvious advantages such as constantly learning the language and keeping it up however if you force yourself to do it, you may learn next to nothing and so it’ll be a waste of time. Don’t worry if you don’t feel like doing it for some time, you need breaks but when you come back to it make sure you haven’t forgotten the essentials. I have phases where I am really into it and can do more than an hour every day to times when I don’t want to look at it at all for weeks on end. Obviously if this often occurs it will hamper your progress. The good thing about languages is that even the smallest things you do can be beneficial. This could be simply reading over your notes or listening to music in that language. Whatever you do in relation to the language will almost certainly help your four skills: listening, reading, speaking and writing.
A common de-motivation is taking on too much at once. This will depend on the similarity of the language to your own. If it is completely different from your native language you will obviously need to spend more time learning the basics and creating a solid foundation before you move on. For example for me this could be Russian or Mandarin or Arabic because they have different alphabets/characters to English and they also have different sounds accompanying them. Therefore I would spend a lot longer on memorizing the writing, the sounds and shapes. If the language is similar to your own, you will need to take care to not use your own language as a basis for the one you’re trying to learn. This will make it harder to learn and understand the new language. You need to approach it with a clean slate and an open mind. A common thing that people do is to implement their own grammar rules to the new language. They’re so set in their grammatical rules that the new language’s rules don’t make any sense to them and they become disheartened. I understand that in the beginning you may need to place certain things you’ve learnt into the categories of your own language to memorise things. Just make sure not to let your own preconceived notions of what’s linguistically correct to affect your learning. Sometimes noticing patterns or commonalities in the language for example in certain conjugations can give you a motivation boost as you feel like you’re actually progressing and have a better grip on the language.
Track your progress. This can be simply done by looking back through your notes and seeing how much you’ve done. You can also try watching a movie or listening to music in that language. However be prepared not to understand every single word even with at least a year of learning the language you will not understand it all. It is easy to become de-motivated because you may not think that you’ve progressed very far at all.
Till our next meeting,
Here are a few steps that will hopefully get you set up. This is only through my own experience and it is something that works for me. It probably works more for those who have a more traditional way of learning (writing and repeating). If it doesn’t work… don’t blame me, I sort of made all of this up.
- Find a source to learn from, this may be through a book, website (my preference) etc. You will be looking for something that has steps you can follow. This will be your ‘home page’ of learning, kind of the backbone of your lessons. The difficulty of finding these resources will depend on the popularity of the language. For me, when looking for a website I look for a very structured, organized and mostly complete website. Books are usually already ordered; try to make sure that they have almost all the grammar so you don’t need several books. The most important section will be grammar, as vocab will be easy to find elsewhere. If it is structured it will make it easier for you to follow through the list and learn each section as a lesson. This will help you feel organized and will ensure that you don’t start at a random place with a lot of difficulty. Usually you should start with learning the alphabet and sounds and then begin to learn about the gender of nouns if there are any.
- I have a workbook or notebook where I make notes on and write examples etc and eventually you will have several lessons or sections in your book and can learn off them independent of the website. By writing all this down, it helps me understand what is being said and helps me remember (you may need to read it a few times). It will also give you a little motivation to be able to see your progress.
- Start learning vocab; I usually start once I have reached the present tense section of the grammar. It doesn’t really matter when you start learning it but make sure that your grammar is priority as it will be the foundation of the language. There won’t be any point of having a lot of vocab without knowing how to use it. You will also be learning vocab from the grammar examples.
- Set a schedule… or don’t. It is completely up to you, whatever works best for you but keep in mind that as with everything, the more you do, the more you learn. However don’t force yourself when you really don’t feel up to it because you will learn next to nothing and become frustrated.
- Use a variety of sources on the side so that you can develop all the skills: listening, reading, writing and speaking.
- Last of all, start now. Don’t think of yourself as being too old, we’re talking about learning a language, not ballet. Just think, if you’re 60 and you start now, at 61 you will have learnt it for a year and can probably speak it conversationally… or at least recall a few words. Keep at it!!
Till our next meeting,
Learning a language is one of the most fulfilling experiences. It opens a whole new world to you where you can explore a new culture, way of life and people. This can then help you grow personally and ‘widen your horizons’ as they say. This can be a new hobby for you and it will keep you occupied for probably the rest of your life should you choose to stick with it. Learning a language, much like learning how to play an instrument is very mentally stimulating. It keeps your mind active and busy.
For me, I have always loved learning languages. Yes, it takes a lot of time and effort, but it is very enriching. As I said, it opens up a whole new world. It all started when I would go to different countries and be uncomfortable with the fact that I couldn’t understand anything. You can feel lost and annoyed at having to rely on making your own assumptions and deductions in order to grasp the situation. I realised that learning the whole language may seem dramatic to some but I had some interest in it before, that was just a prompt for me to start.
Obviously you shouldn’t learn a language if you have no interest in it. It takes a lot of time and dedication to reach a level where you can communicate comfortably. Honestly, even deciding to further your knowledge in your native language is a task in itself. I suppose what’s so fascinating about languages is the fact that you will never finish learning everything because there’s just so much to learn. Language is also evolving all the time. New words are being added to the dictionaries yearly.
With that being said, this will be a kind of series where I talk about learning a new language and hopefully you’ll find some use out of it.
Till our next meeting,
With the New Year approaching, we are beginning to create our new year’s resolutions and promises to ourselves… Or are we? The New Year marks a time where you can ‘start over’, where everything stays the same but the only ‘restart’ that can happen is within us. It has become so widely accepted that any new year’s resolutions made will be abandoned by February, at best. Nowadays we create these resolutions with the aims of abandoning them shortly after, some don’t even bother now. It has become a sort of running New Year’s joke, reduced to memes on social media.
The phrase new year, new me is aimed at the fact that you are going to make a change. Of course you don’t magically change as soon as the clock strikes 12. You feel no different; it has to be a work in progress…that lasts the rest of your life. It would be better to have only one resolution that you would stick to and add more as the years progress. I don’t know where this notion of writing a list of resolution comes from.. it makes it almost impossible to keep them all, but maybe that’s why, so in the end we have to keep at least one to make ourselves feel better.
Are we setting ourselves up for failure? Are we doing this to give ourselves a temporary, fake feeling of taking action, of being better? At this rate it’s probably more effective to create resolutions in the middle of the year. By doing this, you can’t use all the parties between Christmas and New Year’s as an excuse. Either way if you’re not committed and determined, anything can be used as an excuse, or if you’ve really hit a low point, there won’t even be an excuse. We tend to abandon our resolutions because of the effort involved. For example if you wanted to go to the gym daily, that act of getting ready and going to the gym itself is a feat in itself. We then start to make excuses and say to ourselves ‘I’ll do it tomorrow, I’ll take today off as a treat for going 2 straight days in a row’. It seems to be embedded in us to not exert the effort even if we see the benefits. Apparently the temptation to slack off is too strong.
As always not everybody is like that. For those who have managed to keep their resolutions, I tip my hat off to you. It’s pretty incredible, the action of mind over body because after all that’s what it is. I will be the first to admit that I never keep my resolutions either, but then again I’ve only made a list once or twice. I gave up, knowing that I wouldn’t even attempt to start. Maybe this year there should be a change? I don’t know, it’s just so much easier not to do anything. Anyway, here are a few tips to keeping your resolutions:
- Be prepared – A big part of this is keeping your motivation up. You can buy the materials you need (if it’s the gym – workout clothes). You can post motivational quotes around your house. Find something that will inspire you throughout the process so you can look back at it when you feel like slacking off.
- Get help – Tell people your resolutions. This makes you have some sort of accountability. These people can also help you out.. or set you up to fail depends on who you surround yourself with!
- Set a finish time, a goal – By having a finishing date or a goal, there is something to aim for. You can then pace yourself and make a plan. It will also seem less of a daunting task.
- Have something realistic – This will also help with your motivation. You can increase you goal year on year or even month on month.
- Make one of your resolutions to keep your resolutions 😉
These are just a few random ideas off the top of my head, as I’ve said I not particularly experienced in this department. Hopefully they are of some use to you. Let me know how it goes!
Have a Happy New Year!
Till our next meeting,
As you’ve probably guessed, this post is about the phrase ‘it’s the thought that counts’. This phrase is so common nowadays where people have been using it as an excuse for a shitty/cheap present. When you hear someone say this, they probably don’t think much of it either, hence the need for this ‘excuse’ where the person just brushes it off. Now I’m not saying that everyone does this and a lot of times, the presents thought of as ‘crap’ to outsiders, is actually something very meaningful to the receiver. It used to be that people’s thoughtfulness and love for the other person would transcend the gift and so it would have been the thought that counted and not so much the present.
As we near Christmas we have to refocus ourselves to the actual meaning of Christmas and why it gives us so much joy. It’s the gathering of families and friends, the receiving of presents makes us feel appreciated, thought of and loved. Of course all the Christmas movies show this but they are so over watched that often, the meaning is overlooked. The giving of presents shows the person that they were remembered, they often signify something about the relationship between them. Therefore the price or appearance of the gift doesn’t matter as much.
The best example is when children give gifts to us; we are so happy even if the glitter gets everywhere, even if it’s falling apart and illegible. We are so warmed by this gesture because we know that children give with their hearts, without any ill will and took the time out in their busy schedules to create something for us. That’s when ‘it’s the thought that counts’ appropriately comes in. Don’t create a list of people to buy gifts for and let them become just that: names to be ticked off. Put some thought into it, you lazy bugger. Yes it may be stressful and require some thought, but at the end of the day it’s worth it to see them happy!
This is just a short reminder on Christmas and that it’s not all about what you receive materialistically. Even with my stuffy cold I am going to have a good Christmas amongst my loved ones. So enjoy the presence of your loved ones, the festivities and just as importantly, the food ;).
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
Till our next meeting,